What makes us unhappy!
Every day we hear thousand of things and few of them are so thought provoking that you can’t get out of it for days together. As a human being we are susceptible to emotional stuffs and often get carried away by it. Have you ever noticed how often we get carried away by it and then go through the whole lot of emotional roller coaster…….Why it happens ,I often wonder….
In my view, in this world, a very few are there who really care for the other persons emotion. Show them little bit of goodness they will try to engulf you as a whole.
I often carried away by the sufferings of my maid. She is just beautiful, a perfect Marathi beauty. She has got six children out of them, two elder daughters already married. But her husband was a drunkard, and he resort to drinking by suspecting his wife’s character. Can you believe…what sort of love it is? And things got so deteriorated that after living two long years of separated life her husband died. She still lives her life, working and earning. She is perfectly all right with her character, but her husband never understood it.
But my point is when she went through all these, I got carried away by her sufferings and I paid her salaries on top, time to time supplied her with money and material to support her. In return what I get, I did all my work of my own, for days together as she used to take leave very often.
Things never changed .Aftermath; she thought it is her right to have leave and to have the whole month’s salary to be paid. And when I dismissed her from her job, she didn’t let anybody to come to my house. On top tried to bad mouth about me in my neighbors and created whole lot of misunderstanding amongst us. As she is also appointed to work for our society, it became very easy to pass the wrong message. She made all sort of controversy and we residents got fooled by her politics and stopped talking to each other. Taking advantage of it she played her trick and made each of us feel very special and label our neighbor as the worst. She started playing as the boss and dictate the watchman, didn’t do her work properly, often skip from her work and put the blame on others. It was terrible. For a long year our society suffered and for three long months I suffered...in fact we all suffered…
One day, I called most of the residents to our place for a dinner and that day we really talked heart to heart. She was not aware of it. Then afterwards since my hubby is secretary, I requested everybody, if there is any doubt on anything they should talk to me first. I introduced that transparency in wives’ level and our husbands just took up from there and it was all very cordial. I thought for days together and came into a conclusion. That day I really woke up and threw all my emotions for her in a dustbin. I used my power, yes…….. After three years, I said her clear-cut that she has to work for me otherwise we will throw her out of our society’s job too, which gives her a steady income. I set two days leave in a month and payment will be as per the number of days, she really works. Only in Diwali I will pay her some extra bonus otherwise no mercy by any means….And in this mission I learnt how to mop my floors and how to keep the wardrobe organized….When you know the skill you can easily manipulate things….
After this resurgence in me, Is it ever possible on her part to make me unhappy by any means !…..No way, cause I am not expecting anything from her and I set my mind that all these job has to be done by me if she is helping it is just a bonus. If I can get maximum output out of her then I am a good boss. But I will never forget that she is working for me for last four five years and in my learning experience she has contributed a lot. At the same time I am now extra alert that she should only work and before she could do any politics I must prepare myself to hammer. By god’s grace and our effort, that friendship, which we introduced in our society, still persists. And those who are out of the league are now trying to catch up. Now our maid really works and works hard……..
Life teaches us. I learnt that in every problem there is a root cause and before getting hyper I need to dig that root cause and destroy it. Then only I can have a grip over my problem. I learnt that I shouldn't believe people blindly , I should search for the root of every problem before giving any judgement. and the third one is expectation........When you expect that she will come and do my work; He will come and ease my burden; there only you get the sting. When you expect something, people take advantage of it. If your confidence level is low the selfish people are the first one to attack you. When soberly you take everything, then people think you are simple and they can easily fool you. And when you show them your authority or try to protest, they will envy you and tag you as selfish. This exploitation happens every where. Those who are good at heart they always face this sort of situation in life. But that doesn’t mean one should forget to be good. Our good quality often pays us back. So what if our boss exploits us or our bai or our relative or our spouse. If I keep in my mind that it’s me what matters, nobody else…I have the power to change, to dictate……if my determination and self confidence is intact………….. and to make myself happy I will have to work relentlessly……. if somebody is giving something then it’s just a bonus, then nobody can ever exploit me……Nobody in this world can make me happy unless and until I make up my own mind to be happy.
Every day we hear thousand of things and few of them are so thought provoking that you can’t get out of it for days together. As a human being we are susceptible to emotional stuffs and often get carried away by it. Have you ever noticed how often we get carried away by it and then go through the whole lot of emotional roller coaster…….Why it happens ,I often wonder….
In my view, in this world, a very few are there who really care for the other persons emotion. Show them little bit of goodness they will try to engulf you as a whole.
I often carried away by the sufferings of my maid. She is just beautiful, a perfect Marathi beauty. She has got six children out of them, two elder daughters already married. But her husband was a drunkard, and he resort to drinking by suspecting his wife’s character. Can you believe…what sort of love it is? And things got so deteriorated that after living two long years of separated life her husband died. She still lives her life, working and earning. She is perfectly all right with her character, but her husband never understood it.
But my point is when she went through all these, I got carried away by her sufferings and I paid her salaries on top, time to time supplied her with money and material to support her. In return what I get, I did all my work of my own, for days together as she used to take leave very often.
Things never changed .Aftermath; she thought it is her right to have leave and to have the whole month’s salary to be paid. And when I dismissed her from her job, she didn’t let anybody to come to my house. On top tried to bad mouth about me in my neighbors and created whole lot of misunderstanding amongst us. As she is also appointed to work for our society, it became very easy to pass the wrong message. She made all sort of controversy and we residents got fooled by her politics and stopped talking to each other. Taking advantage of it she played her trick and made each of us feel very special and label our neighbor as the worst. She started playing as the boss and dictate the watchman, didn’t do her work properly, often skip from her work and put the blame on others. It was terrible. For a long year our society suffered and for three long months I suffered...in fact we all suffered…
One day, I called most of the residents to our place for a dinner and that day we really talked heart to heart. She was not aware of it. Then afterwards since my hubby is secretary, I requested everybody, if there is any doubt on anything they should talk to me first. I introduced that transparency in wives’ level and our husbands just took up from there and it was all very cordial. I thought for days together and came into a conclusion. That day I really woke up and threw all my emotions for her in a dustbin. I used my power, yes…….. After three years, I said her clear-cut that she has to work for me otherwise we will throw her out of our society’s job too, which gives her a steady income. I set two days leave in a month and payment will be as per the number of days, she really works. Only in Diwali I will pay her some extra bonus otherwise no mercy by any means….And in this mission I learnt how to mop my floors and how to keep the wardrobe organized….When you know the skill you can easily manipulate things….
After this resurgence in me, Is it ever possible on her part to make me unhappy by any means !…..No way, cause I am not expecting anything from her and I set my mind that all these job has to be done by me if she is helping it is just a bonus. If I can get maximum output out of her then I am a good boss. But I will never forget that she is working for me for last four five years and in my learning experience she has contributed a lot. At the same time I am now extra alert that she should only work and before she could do any politics I must prepare myself to hammer. By god’s grace and our effort, that friendship, which we introduced in our society, still persists. And those who are out of the league are now trying to catch up. Now our maid really works and works hard……..
Life teaches us. I learnt that in every problem there is a root cause and before getting hyper I need to dig that root cause and destroy it. Then only I can have a grip over my problem. I learnt that I shouldn't believe people blindly , I should search for the root of every problem before giving any judgement. and the third one is expectation........When you expect that she will come and do my work; He will come and ease my burden; there only you get the sting. When you expect something, people take advantage of it. If your confidence level is low the selfish people are the first one to attack you. When soberly you take everything, then people think you are simple and they can easily fool you. And when you show them your authority or try to protest, they will envy you and tag you as selfish. This exploitation happens every where. Those who are good at heart they always face this sort of situation in life. But that doesn’t mean one should forget to be good. Our good quality often pays us back. So what if our boss exploits us or our bai or our relative or our spouse. If I keep in my mind that it’s me what matters, nobody else…I have the power to change, to dictate……if my determination and self confidence is intact………….. and to make myself happy I will have to work relentlessly……. if somebody is giving something then it’s just a bonus, then nobody can ever exploit me……Nobody in this world can make me happy unless and until I make up my own mind to be happy.
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