Starved

Starved !

Oh Baby !
Who let you to starve to death?
Who pushed you to this corner so dread?
Where are you mum and dad?
Are they too died in the melee of being starved?

Oh baby!
You are in the girth of death
Who snatched your milk bottle from your mouth?
Is that a monster in the human face!
To fill his stomach, he forced you to the brink of death …!

Oh baby!
Even the vulture is confused
Whether to eat you or leave you in your fate!
How those humans couldn’t let you to live
Are they worse than the vulture in the matter of profit?

Oh baby!
This world is like this famine struck earth
Here every human is a monster behind the mask
Here every human waits for opportunity
To suck out your blood to built his castle of dreams.

Oh baby!
With your delicate body and emotion
Can you fight back?
That vulture drooling to savor on your flesh and bone
Before you died away just take a last glance,
on the scattered green leaves fallen around
Don’t ever think they are the green pastures
They are scattered dreams of good humans
Who died in the dream to set up a green grazing land?
While picking the leaves and roots..
They fall pray to that vulture, who drools !
In the fight of starved humans
Survives only the vulture,
Because nobody eats his flesh and bone

********

Rambling thoughts

Rambling thoughts

Every individual is unique in his own way. Man is entrusted with some specifications from his birth. His qualities reflect in his personality and give him a distinction in this society. But have you ever noticed why some one individual emerges out to be the best, who was being loved and most cherished as a friend as a soul mate or even as a good human being! Why only one individual emerges out as the most successful, most rich or most intelligent amongst the mass!

I often wonder why in the crowd only a few get that much coveted place. Why in a mass only a few get what they really want to get. And in a crowd why only a few really get that much applause which many may wish to achieve.

Is it that they are more intelligent? Is it that they are very self-confident? Are they born with that power by which they can achieve whatever they wished to?

In my post graduation classes I first interacted with my fellow classmates away from the influence of my parents. I started looking at them through my own perspectives. I saw every body has that self-confidence, frustration, fear, aim and desire- all these are same in all but of different nature. Few left a lingering impression on me. But a few, in spite being successful never impressed me much. After getting married I came across people from around the world. I got introduced to this metro life and this corporate world. I found being successful is not every thing. Like this picture everybody is clad with that black robe of ego, selfishness, like that small horns their arrogance is protruding from their head and that race is there within to display that flashy red dress in the crowd, that is “yes I am the best” “I am different”. But amongst all these also they have got a few qualities which will touch your soul. Even in this race there are a few who will leave you with lasting impression.

Why it is so? Like that eagle, I have seen these individuals flying in their own sky scaling the greater heights. A few are there who concentrate on their aim and achievements on this earth, A few know how to prey the other small birds ,who are just learning to fly or the small innocent rabbits and cunning rats who roam on this earth. But few eagles are there who never forget that this is this earth which made them capable to scale the sky. They love to get attached to this earth and enjoy their flight in the open sky equally. I do possess a special weakness for these individuals.

I always stay in that glass house of my thoughts, from where I could see the world and the world could see me too. But I never dared to break that glass house to scale that height to roam free in that open sky, like that eagle. I wonder is there any predator that preys the eagles too. Is flying high is that lucrative as it looks from my glass house. May be a few more years of experience will tell me this…………

What makes us unhappy

What makes us unhappy!

Every day we hear thousand of things and few of them are so thought provoking that you can’t get out of it for days together. As a human being we are susceptible to emotional stuffs and often get carried away by it. Have you ever noticed how often we get carried away by it and then go through the whole lot of emotional roller coaster…….Why it happens ,I often wonder….

In my view, in this world, a very few are there who really care for the other persons emotion. Show them little bit of goodness they will try to engulf you as a whole.

I often carried away by the sufferings of my maid. She is just beautiful, a perfect Marathi beauty. She has got six children out of them, two elder daughters already married. But her husband was a drunkard, and he resort to drinking by suspecting his wife’s character. Can you believe…what sort of love it is? And things got so deteriorated that after living two long years of separated life her husband died. She still lives her life, working and earning. She is perfectly all right with her character, but her husband never understood it.

But my point is when she went through all these, I got carried away by her sufferings and I paid her salaries on top, time to time supplied her with money and material to support her. In return what I get, I did all my work of my own, for days together as she used to take leave very often.

Things never changed .Aftermath; she thought it is her right to have leave and to have the whole month’s salary to be paid. And when I dismissed her from her job, she didn’t let anybody to come to my house. On top tried to bad mouth about me in my neighbors and created whole lot of misunderstanding amongst us. As she is also appointed to work for our society, it became very easy to pass the wrong message. She made all sort of controversy and we residents got fooled by her politics and stopped talking to each other. Taking advantage of it she played her trick and made each of us feel very special and label our neighbor as the worst. She started playing as the boss and dictate the watchman, didn’t do her work properly, often skip from her work and put the blame on others. It was terrible. For a long year our society suffered and for three long months I suffered...in fact we all suffered…

One day, I called most of the residents to our place for a dinner and that day we really talked heart to heart. She was not aware of it. Then afterwards since my hubby is secretary, I requested everybody, if there is any doubt on anything they should talk to me first. I introduced that transparency in wives’ level and our husbands just took up from there and it was all very cordial. I thought for days together and came into a conclusion. That day I really woke up and threw all my emotions for her in a dustbin. I used my power, yes…….. After three years, I said her clear-cut that she has to work for me otherwise we will throw her out of our society’s job too, which gives her a steady income. I set two days leave in a month and payment will be as per the number of days, she really works. Only in Diwali I will pay her some extra bonus otherwise no mercy by any means….And in this mission I learnt how to mop my floors and how to keep the wardrobe organized….When you know the skill you can easily manipulate things….

After this resurgence in me, Is it ever possible on her part to make me unhappy by any means !…..No way, cause I am not expecting anything from her and I set my mind that all these job has to be done by me if she is helping it is just a bonus. If I can get maximum output out of her then I am a good boss. But I will never forget that she is working for me for last four five years and in my learning experience she has contributed a lot. At the same time I am now extra alert that she should only work and before she could do any politics I must prepare myself to hammer. By god’s grace and our effort, that friendship, which we introduced in our society, still persists. And those who are out of the league are now trying to catch up. Now our maid really works and works hard……..

Life teaches us. I learnt that in every problem there is a root cause and before getting hyper I need to dig that root cause and destroy it. Then only I can have a grip over my problem. I learnt that I shouldn't believe people blindly , I should search for the root of every problem before giving any judgement. and the third one is expectation........When you expect that she will come and do my work; He will come and ease my burden; there only you get the sting. When you expect something, people take advantage of it. If your confidence level is low the selfish people are the first one to attack you. When soberly you take everything, then people think you are simple and they can easily fool you. And when you show them your authority or try to protest, they will envy you and tag you as selfish. This exploitation happens every where. Those who are good at heart they always face this sort of situation in life. But that doesn’t mean one should forget to be good. Our good quality often pays us back. So what if our boss exploits us or our bai or our relative or our spouse. If I keep in my mind that it’s me what matters, nobody else…I have the power to change, to dictate……if my determination and self confidence is intact………….. and to make myself happy I will have to work relentlessly……. if somebody is giving something then it’s just a bonus, then nobody can ever exploit me……Nobody in this world can make me happy unless and until I make up my own mind to be happy.

Kite

Kite

The foggy winter afternoon was slowly absorbing me with its tantalizing effect. Every inch of me was engrossing with desire to sneakily envelop into the warm puff blanket. The after noon siesta seems stretched for one more hour .I looked into the wall clock with half opened eyes.

‘Ah…it seems quarter to four. I must wake up now.’ I thought. I felt very disgusted. ‘What sort of life we are leading .You can’t sleep one more hour. You can’t wake up early. You can’t talk too much in the night .You can’t sleep for long hours in the morning. You can’t prepare what you wanted to eat every day. Every thing, every bit of life is just calculated steps. Don’t say anything just put a masking tape and keep on doing as per the demand of the moment. No emotion, no thinking no lazing out but still you are there at home through out day!!!

I stretched out my hands out of the floppy blanket but felt like sleeping a few minutes more.

“A cup of tea….yes I need a cup of tea to recharge my body.” I thought. I woke up and with lazy steps went to the kitchen. Suddenly my heart got saddened. The thought that was screeching in my heart started occupying me. I looked in an empty look to the flames of the gas stove.

While pouring the tea drops of tear started tickling in my eyes. I smiled with my childish thoughts. The flavor of the hot tea started its relaxing effect on me.

The amber red winter afternoon looked quite lonely to me. I looked at that park intensely. The green lawn was just mowed. The smooth evenly look spreads with its grassy green hue. In the solitary park a little boy was standing just in the middle with a kite in one hand and a spool of thread in the other. He looked here and there .The rays of sun were just falling from the back. With that ray his spiky hair looked like a bush of golden cactus .Small droplets of sweat oozing from the side of his hair. His yellow T-shirt was neatly put inside the sky blue jeans .He was wearing a pair of sports shoes, which was giving him a cute look.

He again looked here and there and knelt down on the green lawn bed. The blue red white yellow squared kite lying on the grass. Three threads coming from three sides joined into one leading to a single thread. He was trying to put a knot on that single thread to attach it into the main spool of thread. He wiped his sweat in an asymmetric rhythm of his hand and again started to tie the knot.

It was quite difficult for him to tie that. Sometimes the thread slipped from his hand, sometimes the knot tied in a wrong way . I could see his struggling. For a moment I thought I must go and help him. But then I refrained. He tried.

Finally he could tie the knot. I was quite amused by the way he was struggling. The chilled air which making the kite fly for a moment, but the knot seemed to be loosen up itself time and again.

He checked that knot, and then started flying the kite. He left a few thread from the spool and started running. The kite fell down. He again left a few thread and started running. Still the kite fell back. He was quite disgusted. He looked at the kite in a bad temper but couldn’t leave that. He again looked here and there may be for help. But found nobody.

He knelt down again putting a finger in his lips and thought. He ran around the park .Then left a small length of thread .Then with that small thread from the spool he started running. He ran quite speedily. He covered almost three quarter of the park . And finally he got the stream of wind blowing which lifted his kite to a particular height. The kite started flying high and high taking the tread from the spool. Within no time the kite became small point in that Amber sky and I looked at it in a quite bemused look.

I smiled and looked at the kite, which was flying freely in the air still its string attached to that spool. Suddenly I felt quite light just like that kite, softly gliding in the air in my own open sky. I felt I got my answer.

A small affair

A small affair


“The passengers to Calcutta, flight no. 642. Please proceed for security checking.” announced the pubic announcing system in the domestic air port lounge.

I took my hand baggage and proceeded for the check.

“ Will you please place your hand bag for the x-ray test and proceed to that cubicle.” Said, the security personnel standing over there.

I was bit reluctant to put my hand bag as I was carrying some cash and jewelry in it.

“Don’t worry, I am here to look after you proceed.” I looked behind the voice talking to me in my mother tongue. He smiled at me. I reciprocated with same smile and proceeded without a hitch.

The security woman run the metal detector through out my body and let me go.

I proceeded to board the flight. Instead of a bus it was a tunnel attached to the flight and we could easily board the flight without any fuss.

The air hostesses, with a strained smile, welcome us on board. I settled in my seat comfortably. It was a window side seat. I could see the entire runway from there. I was completely submersed in my thought.
“ Hi, yet again…ha……ha..” He occupied my side seat with a huge smile.
“ Oh! Sorry after that security check in, I completely forgot you. I should have said you thanks.”
“It’s ok” He said with a wink.
I smiled.


The pilot’s voice resonated in the announcing system.
“Welcome, on board. I am Capt. Apte, commanding the flight along with co-pilot Capt. Bhatia. Please fasten your belt and listen carefully about the safety instructions.
The airhostesses started demonstrating along with the announcements regarding the safety and emergency exit.


“So you are staying in Mumbai?”
“Yes.” I tried to answer in short.
“Going for some official tour to Calcutta or what?”
“Yes……… And my parents stay there.”
“ Oh! I stay in Calcutta, with my parents. Where is your office?”
“Ho chi min sarani.”
“ I see. If you are going to Calcutta, never forget to taste Sandesh….The sweets are too good in Calcutta.”
“I know …I had been there before.”


“The flight was almost ready to take off.


“Please fasten your seat belts and stay in your seat till the sign of fasten seat bet is there.” The pilot announced.
The flight got detached from that tunnel and moved forward and settled on the runway. Slowly it rolled on the runway. I started chanting Hanuman mantra for safe journey which I ritually do every time I board a vehicle. He looked at me in the corner of his eye and smiled.

I felt embarrassed and moved my face towards the window to avoid his eye contact.

“Feeling scared or what?”
“Scared! ...no….The takeoff and landing is always very suffocating.” I said.
In the second round the flight caught the speed and started moving very fast. The whole flight shaken up a bit and suddenly I see the entire airport is looking very tiny from that double glassed window.
“Thank god! It’s a smooth one.” I said gasping my breath
“Huh! Actually they are all manually controlled that is why this jerking every time.”
“Don’t say anything as I can’t hear you….you see my ears are all cotton stuffed.”
“Oh!.....ha…...ha……..ha………”he laughed so loud that I again felt quite embarrassed.


After a while the flight moved steadily.


I looked through the window. We are almost in the clouds height. The blue sky was no more blue .It was like a bed of white cottons scattered every where. I could see different shapes and sizes in it. Suddenly it felt as if every thing was standstill. On the bed of white clouds our flight was sailing smoothly. I was too delighted with this view.


“So how is your job?” He asked.
“…….Actually I qualified for the junior fellowship in History and going to join as a research assistant in Calcutta.”
“You said your parents stay there. Where they stay?”
“ Arre….I said like that as I was not knowing you then.”
He sat straight and looked at me enthusiastically, “So you know me now?”
“I think so.”
“Tel me what is my name?”
“How do I know?”
“My name is Rohit., What is your name ?
“Swati.”
“I will give you my card, so that you can contact me whenever you need me.”
“Sure.” I said.
“Give me your mobile no.too” He said.
We exchanged our mobile numbers.
“You know what, I like history very much. This is a royal subject. After reading this you feel as if you are nothing less than a king or queen.” He winked, with a mischievous smile.
“Hmm….Well I don’t like it much. But I was aiming for something and landed up in something else….….What are you doing?”
“Ah! I am a software engineer. For a project I went to Bangalore then Mumbai”
“I see. I know very little about them. Can you tell me something about your job?”
He smiled and started talking to me .We talked to each other as long lost friends. Time flew .That flight, gliding on the clouds took us to a different world, as if he and me on that flight away from this world somewhere roaming in a city of joy, may be this is called cloud nine


In between, the meal was served. I was so merged in talks that I couldn’t even remembered what I ate. I even forget that I was talking to a stranger that to of my opposite sex. Sometimes vibes matches with a few people so well that you don’t even need a relation, gender tag or age tag to talk to.


Finally the flight landed in Calcutta airport.
“So, nice journey……. Enjoyed your talks a lot…… We will talk. See you again someday.” Suddenly he got vanished in the ascending passengers from the stairways.
Hurriedly he boarded a different bus and I took my own time and boarded in a different bus to arrive in the arrival lounge. The conveyor belt was yet to start. I looked at the starting point of the belt, suddenly I found Rohit standing in the other corner with a beautiful lady. When our eyes met, I was about to wave my hand but suddenly he moved his face to the other side just to avoid the eye contact. I got confused.


The belt started. His baggage came first and he picked it up and left the place. After that I went. While coming out of the gate I found Rohit is thoroughly clasping that lady and were talking quite intimately. I stood there stupefied, while from the private park they rolled out their car. For the first time I saw the face of that lady and the red sindoor on her forehead.


I felt very deserted. It was not that I was in love with him or something like that. But I got confused on the thought ‘why he hide his marital status?’ If he could talk so many things to me, why he didn’t mentioned about his beloved wife! I developed a sort of hatred for him instantly. I felt like vomiting.

I forget that episode then and there only……………


It was about a month or so, in lazy afternoon my cell started buzzing. I looked at that unknown number. I picked up the phone.

“ Hi Swati, Here is Rohit. Remember that flight, our delightful journey.”
For a moment, all my blood flowed to my face. For a moment I thought I may smash that phone on his face. But I controlled, because he is a stranger.
I said,” Wrong number…..”
He called once again and said it in demanding voice, “how it can be possible, it has to be Swati.”
I said, “Hallo mister, whosoever you are. I don’t know you. I am not Swati and stop bugging me again and again…”

I switched off the phone. A drop of warm tear rolled out of my eye….

********





P.S :- This is just a fiction…..

Crossroads

Crossroads


Desperately clinging to his morals
He was standing on the crossroads
Fighting alone against the injustice
He showed the guts to unmask…..
Behind the high morals the drooling canine..

His experience and his enthusiasm
And his valor to chase the dream
The capacity to create the miracle out of nothing
All lost …….
When he pushed to stand on that junction
Isn’t it funny?
How people play with your emotion
Taking advantage of your ambition
Always push you to the corner
So that they can feed on your achievements!

He wished; let it be his last supper
Ending the dilemma to choose a knife,
Bread or the guide book of high ethics
Time had come to decide…..
Whether to pay gratitude or stick to moral values

He knew he can’t sabotage
The knife is never been his fetish
In the clash of Nobles and bourgeoisie
How many Socrates so far, has survived?

The luxury of porridge may fade away soon
The bread will be a rare food in the kitchen
The morals he can’t eat to survive
He can’t use the knife either
To settle down the scores

Oh God! He whispered in despair
“Is this world dark tunnel without a door?”
His heart screamed in revolt……
He wished to die,
To get rid of that mental torment

Many hours passed that night in gloom,
It was time when the day is about to dawn……..

Suddenly the room got a burst of beam
From there came a replica of his own
He smoothened his hair and smiled a bit
Addressed him in a phonic tone so upbeat

“Listen to me my dear…
It’s me ...I am your soul.
I have seen you from perpetuity
Don’t you think you are wasting your vivacity?”

“Look around the world with intensity.
Do you think there is lack of opportunity?
No need to drink the poison like Socrates
If your ethics is strong
Everybody will fall in your feet
Wait for the day it will come sooner or later
But never lose the heart
Or ever think to lose your own faith
As this world is such a place
Everyday people has to face the race
Here survives only the fittest
Here the winner is one,
Who struggles hard to thrive, till his last breath……”

********

"Wonder" Thy name is Woman

"Wonder" Thy name is woman

Thousand faces hidden in one face
Thousand desires she can nourish
Thousand roles she can play at a time
Without having any selfish interest


She can create a life within
She can destroy an entire generation
She can spin the around her
She can live like a hermit in seclusion


She can be a dotting mother
Who can make her son to touch the pinnacle!
She can break her son’s home
With her selfish interest and nagging attitude


She is a way to everybody’s salvation
Who can make life a wonderful journey!
She can make man suffer like hell
Leaving them in melancholy


She is capable of bringing the world into her feet
With her determination she can touch the Zenith
But she never thinks about her own potential
Always looks after man to fulfill her desire


Yes…….She always loves to be a man’s woman
Wearing a multiple mask……..
She guides, loves, cares, protects, befriends, complains,
demands, nags ,pretends with a sole aim just to woo her man.


She is like bud waiting for the touch to blossom
She is like an uncut diamond waiting to be shone
She is a person always in waiting for her beloved’s touch
Because he is the one who can make her feel so special.


With his love she can do wonders in her life
With his love she can reach to greater heights
It is her man’s love that makes her wild or docile
With its strength she can conquer any obstacle in her life


Don’t you think…….
Man and woman are two indispensable entities?
To make this world a beautiful place to live!

Pearl,Fragrance,Rose

Pearl, fragrance, and Rose
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Like a bottle of fragrance
I will evaporate into the air
Caressing the senses with intensity
I will make them feel so enthralled
Even if they wonder and ponder
But they can’t catch ……

Like this red rose
Visually they will be delighted
With the vivacity of my colors
I will blind them time to time
Even if they wonder and ponder
But they can’t catch ……

Like unwoven pearls
I will scatter my feelings
With my smooth pearly gloss
I will roam like a loner
Even if they wonder and ponder
But they can’t catch ……

Yes …I am Pearl ……

The cosmic dust caught,
in the womb of a shell
Layered with several feelings
Emitting the pale white shine
Even if they wonder and ponder
But they can’t catch ……

Name....

Name……

I opened my eyes on this earth
With a name tag along with my birth
The name gave me the distinction
In the crowd I got the mark of identification.

As I grew older and older
The legacy of the name fall on my shoulder
To keep my family reputation
I need to keep proper decorum

In my every action and every venture
Got directly proportional to my character
The name became bondage for me
I became a bird in the golden prison

The name started dominating my thoughts
I behaved always to keep its repute intact
Through out life I kept it with lot of care
When I faced death, I looked at it in despair.

I thought…

‘Through out life, I just run after this name
With this body it finished its game!
After that
Again I will became a nameless wanderer
In the vast empty space a string less soul!

All my prestige and all my egos
Will turn into ashes with this mortal mass
I will be released from this golden prison
Like a free bird in the heaven…….’

Is not it funny we are attached to it so much
Just a tiny name can make us lose our freedom
Have you ever thought of losing your identity?
How it will feel roaming free in tranquility?